13 Days

13 days until my beheading ceremony. Haha.

Not having a good day today.

I'm really tired of the mental beat down I keep getting. From my grandmother. Really? Are you serious? You love me the most my foot. I'm the only one of your grandchildren you do this to. Be a grandmother for God sake. You don't have to be the one to burst my bubble all the time. You don't have to be my reality check. I know what the reality of the situation is. I don't need that. Just be happy for me when I'm happy, sad for me when I'm sad, and encourage me when I'm anxious. Why can't you? No, you have to lay on the guilt and act like you can't trust me. WTF? I'm not the one you have a problem with. I am not a liar. I never have been. That's the way I was brought up. And you know that. So quit acting like you don't. It's annoying. And you aren't stupid. So quit pulling that too. You're more alert than any grandmother I know. Get over it. You aren't dying tomorrow. Sorry. You aren't. You're in too good a shape. Maybe you shouldn't have taken such good care of yourself. God forbid you outlive your mother. Your mother had LUNG CANCER. She smoked. And wouldn't stop. You did. Okay? Yes. Living happens when you take care of yourself. And really, when you act like a grandmother, I am really glad you did that. I am. It's just when you stomp around and act like I'm a horrible person that I wish you would die. I'm hard enough on myself. Why can't you just support me? I'm supposed to be my worst critic, not you. Geez.

Sorry. Had to get that out. This is what happens when you live with your grandmother. Not love. Not unconditional love anyway. You get betterment tips. You get guilt. You get treated like you're a moron. Fuck you if you think I'm the favorite! I'm not. Let her live with you for a while. Let's see how favorite you think I am then. Maybe you'll get some of the crap I've had to put up with for years. See if you put THAT title on me still. See if you like being pressured all the time by someone who isn't yourself. See if you like being told how you're doing it all wrong. See if you like being told what a liar you are. And how you can't be trusted. See how good that feels. So yeah. If favorite means most criticized then, yes, that's me. Go to hell!

Obviously I wasn't done...

But now I am

snip, snap, snout,
this blog's told out!