The Man in the Moon

Texting. It all began with texting. And it quickly moved into emails and picture sharing. And now it's moved into phonecalls and panic attacks. I wasn't expecting phonecalls. Not yet. He took it there. On his way to work yesterday. -sigh- WITHOUT prompting. Don't mind me if I dance all night.

Joshy Woshy Has No Hair

Staying up until 3:30 am and talking all day is not something you do with "just" friends. Just sayin'. And I am really happy.

Woke up this morning thinking it was Monday. Was shocked to find out that, no, it is Tuesday. Oops!

I Like To Talk To Myself

Dear Self,

This divorce is not your fault. The problem is him, not you. HE has control issues. HE couldn't handle who you were becoming. HE has issues. You did NOT make this relationship crumble. But now you know better, and you HAVE to rise above him. Keep ya head up!

Yours Completely,
Susan

Breathing Is a Good Thing

Reminder to self: Do not jump in with your whole heart, yet. It could be dangerous to your health, your mental health. That is all.

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I hate how I seem to be becoming more attached to him by the minute. And I hate how he acts like he can take me or leave me one minute and the next he's texting me to ask how my day was or how I slept last night. I love how honest and candid he is with me. And I love how comfortable I am around him to just be myself. I hate how hurt he's been in the past and how it's affected him more than he'll admit. I hate how damaged he thinks he is. I love that he's the tidy one of the house. And I love how he takes time out to go camping for five days at a time. I hate how he's got such a hold on me that I stay up nights to talk to him. And I hate how I'm just spilling all of this out. But most of all, I hate the distance and I know, for a fact, that he does, too. And it hurts. So bad.

Joshy Woshy Was a Bear

So, I'm not pleased with the weather change at all. That's quite obvious. I've carried my trusty BRLS sweatshirt around with me for four days straight. I had my heater on full blast any time I've gone anywhere. I even slept on the couch because it holds heat. I don't remember having this much trouble adjusting last year. Although, I am like 30 lbs lighter. Not sure how much that has to do with anything. The only thing that is the same is the flip flops, lol.

Anyway, so, I don't really want to say anything because I'm superstitious, but there is a new guy again. His name is Josh, he's 31, and he's 6'2". He doesnt smoke or drink. He isn't into drugs or anything. He's gainfully employed, has his own ride, and has his own apartment. He's completely sweet and pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. But there is a problem! He lives approximately 2420.7 miles away. I never fall for anybody who's available, EVER. I'm about to give up! Lol.

Stretchy Pants Not Included

So, I got an iPhone the other day. And you'd think I could freaking write entries on the site using it instead of texting the entries, but nope. The site won't let me write them in the space. Yeah, nevermind, just know that it's ducked up.

The other day, I had a feeling something good was gonna happen. Instead of just feeling it and letting it happen, I said something. Big mistake! Somebody hit my car, really smashung the side and then took of like nothing happened. And the worst part? Nobody but the driver saw it happen or at least thy all acted like they saw nothing. My g-ma actually was using the car when it happened. There are pictures on my Facebook. I haven't been so pissed as I was when I saw it. My perfectly blue car now has yellow and orange ugly ass paint on it. See if I share my good feelings again! It just proves that I am right to hate people. Even if they didn't write down their insurance information (which I doubt they had), a little note to say sorry would have been nice. Of course, that's probably expecting too much. -eyeroll- And people ask me why I'm sarcastic and cynical. Because when I'm not THIS happens. -growls-

Temporary Fixes

So, I dropped my phone into the girls' bath tonight. I guess I didn't think it was clean enough. Har. But now I can't access the 'net through my phone's wifi, which sucks ass. So, now I have absolutely NO way to access the 'net AT ALL when I'm "home". Argh!

Speaking of which, nose = itchy again. But I don't know when it'll happen because our schedules are so opposite. But I bet we both leave at the same time tomorrow morning. Hope he doesn't think I'm stalking him if he's ahead of me. Talk about embarrassing! Lost? Ignore this paragraph.

And I Feel Like I Just Got Home

I r bored. 48 hours without the girls is too many. The good part is that I have less than 16 hours to go. This is as torturous as working a double at the Lake with a certain tech with the personality of a stick and her cronies.
My nose itches pretty badly again. I don't know what's going on with that, but it is driving me bizonkers!
And my face be breaking out pretty badly again also. These next 23 days need to hurry the hell up because I'm not sure how much of this stupidity my body can handle. My brain is boind to blow a gasket by then. -sigh-

How I Wish For December 1963

So, yesterday left me pretty drained, emotionally. It all started with a phonecall from his lawyer, a phonecall that I SHOULD have seen coming.

A bit o f the backstory: Monday I got served, that night I took myself and the girls to myself to my mom's to stay. This meant that by the time the phonecall came, he hadn't seen them in a couple of days. Why did I take them away? I found out, for sure, that he had bugged the house, which is illegal even if it's his house. I don't want nor do I need to be recorded. I was done.

Anyway, this particular phonecall was to inform me that we were going to meet with a judge in an ex parte custody hearing. That's right, folks. He tried to pull a fast one. He stated in his petition that I had taken the kids and moved into my mom's house, putting them in danger. Also, he said that I was emotionally and mentally unstable, that I was abusing the kids mentally as well as physically, that I need medication for my bipolar disorder, that I have attempted suicide, that I have confided in him that I wanted to hurt myself and others, and the list goes on. Basically, he was trying to say that I'm as dangerous as a cracked out mother. Yeah. Usually, an ex parte is used when the mother is a crackhead or an alcoholic. Not when she's a stressed out mess.

So, at about three, I get on the stand and testify for about 45 before the judge looks at his lawyer (mine went first) and says that she can't see why there is an emergency and calls the lawyers out of the courtroom. They all discuss it for a bit and come back with the situation we're in, which will last exactly 25 more days.

So, now, I guess I am in my very own "Jon and Kate situation" and my KIDS have exclusive rights to the house. Rifuckingdiculous!