It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I hate how I seem to be becoming more attached to him by the minute. And I hate how he acts like he can take me or leave me one minute and the next he's texting me to ask how my day was or how I slept last night. I love how honest and candid he is with me. And I love how comfortable I am around him to just be myself. I hate how hurt he's been in the past and how it's affected him more than he'll admit. I hate how damaged he thinks he is. I love that he's the tidy one of the house. And I love how he takes time out to go camping for five days at a time. I hate how he's got such a hold on me that I stay up nights to talk to him. And I hate how I'm just spilling all of this out. But most of all, I hate the distance and I know, for a fact, that he does, too. And it hurts. So bad.

Joshy Woshy Was a Bear

So, I'm not pleased with the weather change at all. That's quite obvious. I've carried my trusty BRLS sweatshirt around with me for four days straight. I had my heater on full blast any time I've gone anywhere. I even slept on the couch because it holds heat. I don't remember having this much trouble adjusting last year. Although, I am like 30 lbs lighter. Not sure how much that has to do with anything. The only thing that is the same is the flip flops, lol.

Anyway, so, I don't really want to say anything because I'm superstitious, but there is a new guy again. His name is Josh, he's 31, and he's 6'2". He doesnt smoke or drink. He isn't into drugs or anything. He's gainfully employed, has his own ride, and has his own apartment. He's completely sweet and pretty adorable, if I do say so myself. But there is a problem! He lives approximately 2420.7 miles away. I never fall for anybody who's available, EVER. I'm about to give up! Lol.