Why is it that after all the weirdness, all the heartache, all the pain, after all the stupid bullshit, I still want THAT BOY to pick me up off the ground, dust me off, push me back into the great wide world, and tell me to keep going? Why is it that the echoes of HIS WORDS are the only thing that comforts me? I keep hearing his words ringing in my ears, and its the only way I can push through most of the time "Don't give up, Susan. Never give up!" So, the more people push me down, the harder I push back. The more rejections I receive, the greater my determination becomes. This downslide cannot and will not last forever, and when it ends, I will be the last one standing, the sole survivor.
Although, sometimes, I do have to sit down, write in my journal, and cry great big tears of relief. Afterall, one can't have rainbows in the soul without a few drops of rain from the eyes. Right? Right.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Happy Birthday!
It seems to me that we are right smack in the middle of what I like to call "Birthday season". It seems that everybody I know celebrates a birthday in Spring or Summer. Not me. I'm a Fall baby, which just so happens to be the worst time of the year for me. We often joke that while most people get presents for their birthday, I get other things, like fired, for instance (although it was 23 days early). And honestly, it was the best gift ever, for me. Instead of spending my birthday adventure to DisneyWorld having fun, I got to spend it worried about money while trying to fake being happy. I almost missed out! Thank God P was there to give me that, though. I owe it all to him. I don't know how I would have survived my vacation without him. Although, I can't be too mad at him, he was only the messenger. It's not his fault he let them use him as a pawn. He doesn't make the rules, and fortuneately enough for me, he doesn't bend them either. Thank God for people lilke him!
You Wish You Were Me!
So, the other day (5/9/09), Nik (iloveyou) started a topic at BMB for posting post-shower pictures. Yeah, we're a weird bunch. We know. Anyway, I take the pictures, and I'm looking at them, thinking about which ones to use when it occurs to me that I am really pretty. Yes, you heard that correctly (or read that, really). I actually think that I am pretty. And that, my friends, is a pretty awesome feeling.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Duck Takes the Cake
OMG! I HAZ SWINE FLEW!
Yeah. I'm quite stuffy and stuff. Nice and snotty. So fun.
I have an ovarian cyst as well. An ovarian cyst that is mimicking a pregnancy. An ovarian cyst that is causing me and has been causing me a lot of pain. An ovarian cyst I want gone. Now.
But on to other things. I am applying to some more jobs right now. I got the job at Vector, but it wasn't what I thought it was. I thought summer work would be like clerical work or something. It wasn't. It was selling Cutco knives, which are awesome knives and all, but it's basically a scam. And I think they accept everybody. Lol.
So, Wednesday, I went to Best Buy with the madre and, well, the entire family and it's a huge store. We were looking for a new washing machine because, in true Susan fashion, it decided now would be a good time to time for the agitator to die. And I'm guessing a new machine would be less expensive than having the old one fixed. At least that's the impression el madre gives me. And it's probably true. I'm thinking I heard it would cost like $1,000. People like to make you pay about that much for stuff. It's fun for them. Har.
Anyway, we're walking around and we've found the machine, and there's one freaking associate, who is already WITH a customer and it seems to be taking a long time. And my mother's getting impatient and the mamaw is getting impatient and the kids, the kids are getting a little bit wild. So, we see two associates walking by and I guess one of them was a manager or something because he sends the other one to find somebody once we asked if there was somebody who could help. And we were talking to him and he's like, "There are like 500 people in here and not enough of us." And I'm like "oh hey. if you need help im available. im smart, and a fast learning and very willing." or something like that. So, he tells me how to apply and he goes on to say that I can apply there but that it's pretty long and takes about 30-45 minutes to finish and if my kids are starting to get wired (he did not assume this, we told him this), that it might be a good idea to do it at home. So, that's what I am doing (well, when I finish this) now. And I guess I will apply to other places too. That could be a good idea. Har.
Anyway, here's a list of where I applied to today:
1. Best Buy
2. 5-7-9
3. Old Navy
4. Borders
5.Buckle
Yeah. I'm quite stuffy and stuff. Nice and snotty. So fun.
I have an ovarian cyst as well. An ovarian cyst that is mimicking a pregnancy. An ovarian cyst that is causing me and has been causing me a lot of pain. An ovarian cyst I want gone. Now.
But on to other things. I am applying to some more jobs right now. I got the job at Vector, but it wasn't what I thought it was. I thought summer work would be like clerical work or something. It wasn't. It was selling Cutco knives, which are awesome knives and all, but it's basically a scam. And I think they accept everybody. Lol.
So, Wednesday, I went to Best Buy with the madre and, well, the entire family and it's a huge store. We were looking for a new washing machine because, in true Susan fashion, it decided now would be a good time to time for the agitator to die. And I'm guessing a new machine would be less expensive than having the old one fixed. At least that's the impression el madre gives me. And it's probably true. I'm thinking I heard it would cost like $1,000. People like to make you pay about that much for stuff. It's fun for them. Har.
Anyway, we're walking around and we've found the machine, and there's one freaking associate, who is already WITH a customer and it seems to be taking a long time. And my mother's getting impatient and the mamaw is getting impatient and the kids, the kids are getting a little bit wild. So, we see two associates walking by and I guess one of them was a manager or something because he sends the other one to find somebody once we asked if there was somebody who could help. And we were talking to him and he's like, "There are like 500 people in here and not enough of us." And I'm like "oh hey. if you need help im available. im smart, and a fast learning and very willing." or something like that. So, he tells me how to apply and he goes on to say that I can apply there but that it's pretty long and takes about 30-45 minutes to finish and if my kids are starting to get wired (he did not assume this, we told him this), that it might be a good idea to do it at home. So, that's what I am doing (well, when I finish this) now. And I guess I will apply to other places too. That could be a good idea. Har.
Anyway, here's a list of where I applied to today:
1. Best Buy
2. 5-7-9
3. Old Navy
4. Borders
5.Buckle
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