"Satan" Should Die

Yesterday was pretty fun. I don't think it was as fun for Jessie. ROFLMAO So not going there. He would kill me! And I know he reads this, so, so not taking the chance. I mean, I love you, Jessie!

Cycle day number one for me. So much fun! Cramps are AWESOME! Cramps in the cold, though? PRICELESS! And me, without a snuggle buddy! HOW VERY PERFECT! -eyeroll-

I'm driving up there on Friday night. Don't argue. Everybody needs a stalker. LOL

My friend, Melissa, has this very awesome fiance named Shane, and he is shooting a DVD on Saturday. Guess who is going? ME! Iz gonna be a star! I made a deal that will probably come back to haunt me, but whatever. I really need to get out more.

So, anyway, I am sitting INSIDE wearing a hoodie. I am a wienie today. A very big wienie.

What else?

Nothing especially cool happened today. I didn't even apply to anywhere today. I didn't get rejected either. So, that was good. I'm just going to start applying to places and get a "normal" job now. It's come down to that. I don't know how useful my resume will be for that, though, but it can't hurt to try. Right? Right. But let me take this opportunity to say how much Mr. Bobby Jindal sucks right now. I never thought his hiring freezes would affect me. HA! And now there are approximately 2,000 more people looking for jobs now. Wait! Is that right? I think it may be more. But anyway, this means even MORE competition and pretty much all of it more experienced, period. fkldsfaskl;ajskal;sakl;fdskalf!

I wish somebody would discover me. I wish somebody would hear me singing and be like, "you! record deal! now!" Or maybe say to me, "you have a pretty face, come model for us!" Something! I need a break. Just a small one. Just something to get me on my feet enough to be able to get a house, or like be able to STAY here.

No, I really DON'T like my supposed free ride. It kills me. I am just sitting here, rotting basically, and I won't be able to keep this house. And I can't afford anything else. And I have mouths to feed. Bodies to clothe. Heads to cover. And in July, I'm going to lose the ability to do that. FOR GOOD! And I feel like such a bum. Like a loser. And all anybody can say is "sorry," but they can't do anything to help. All they can do is shake their heads and pity me. FUCKING! HELP ME! Telling me to let it go and let God, isn't helping me. God is not doing SHIT! He thinks this whole thing is fucking hilarious. Well, guess what! I don't get the joke. I'm not laughing.

Worrying about it another day is not an option. THIS IS IT! This is crunch time. This is move it or lose it time. There is no more tomorrow left. I have no time to relax. This has to get done, NOW! There is no time for self-pity or self- doubt. It is what is it, and that's all there is. And I guess it's just me myself and I now. Nobody's going to do it for me. I have to do it. I have to do it ALL! And it has to be done YESTERDAY!

And I am way past over emotional right now, so I'm going to bed.

snip, snap, snout,
this blog's told out