I'm siiiiick! I have a pretty bad tummy ache in which I got from either Camryn or Jayde. I'm not quite clear which. It comes with a special surprise, too. But I'm not too worried about that. I'm too busy trying not to scream from the pain. I have too many nosy neighbors who would probably report me to the loony bin. Lol.

I've already had several mention that I don't wear shoes and that this concerns them. I don't know why. I'm from Mississippi, and I'm not all that used to shoes. I know it sounds stereotypical, but I seriously never wore shoes growing up. I once got stung in the bottom of my foot because I was going to play in my back yard and STEPPED on a bee. When I dislocated my elbow, I was outside, and had to put shoes on to go to the ER. My grandma has rocks in her driveway, millions and millions of rocks. But did this stop me from walking in it completely barefoot? Of course not! These people are pretty obsessed with it, though. And I just laugh it off. I don't have the heart to tell them that my feet are used to worse. Lol. Oy!!

I love how he knows when I need him, even from 3,000 miles away. I love how sweet he is. I love how patient he is. I love how honest he is. I love how he doesn't mind my crazy, how he actually welcomes it. I love how he thanks me for giving him what he wants. I love how he can just "listen". I love how he just gets me. I love his weirdness, his inappropriateness, his appreciation for me. He likes me for me. And that's the best feeling. It's a weird feeling, and I don't think I'll get used to it. But I like it. And I want to keep it. Forever.

Insane in the Membrane

Agh! Why does he do that? Why? Why is it that every time I do/say something he thinks is cute all he does is just grin at me instead of saying so? And then why does he say "oh nothing" when I ask him what he's grinning about? Is it so hard to just say how cute he thinks I am? Really? He's got to know I know what those dumb grins mean. But even if I do, he could tell me. It's not like I'd reject him. He's got to know I like him as much as he likes me. If he read this blog, he'd know. I'm like thisclose to giving him he addy JUST to erase all doubt. Agh! Just agh!

Purging Can Cause Dehydration

Have I ever mentioned how sweet he is? Have I ever mentioned how deep and thoughtful he is?  Have I ever mentioned how I thank goddess I found him?  Have I? Well...have I?  Cause he is, all of that. And I do, almost everyday. I've never used the app since that day, but I haven't deleted it. Seeing it makes me smile. Yes, an app makes me giddy. This isn't the craziest thought I've had. I can't say what beat it out, but there has been plenty that has. Comes with the territory I suppose. 

I'm taking a break from writing my book at the moment, so, what do I do?  Write some more. Haha. Of course, this doesn't take much thought. I just type as I think it. Not much editing goes into it. I don't have to include previous entries in the new entries. It's so easy a monkey could do it. 

A monkey. Not a caveman. Hear that Geico? Monkey would have been a better choice. Monkeys don't often see your commercials. Not a lot of monkeys can read. But a caveman? A caveman still has electricity in his cave. A caveman can read. Duuuuuh!  I wish I had sat in on that meeting.  

But I digress... And I have to pee...haha 

Trashy, Trampy, Slutty, Slutty

Hi, my name is Susan, I am 26 years old, and I have found my inner slutty girl. Yep.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

So the year just started and I'm outside feezing. I can hear the fireworks, but alas, I cannot see them. Josh had to work tonight, but we've been emailing each other because I can't send or receive texts or phonecalls. But that's a whole new story. 

I have to get the kids at 1 this afternoon, and I really don't want to. I have a tire that's all fucked up. And it's not even the one I thought would be.  So I'm probably going to end up having to find some way to pay for two new tires. 

I hit a rock going like 50 not too long ago. I thought I was going to miss it, but I didn't. Surprise, surprise!  Anyway, I was a pretty big rock, and I heard a loud bam.  And then, the tire pressure light came on. And I was so pissed and go, "ya think?" Yes, I yelled at my dash. I'm partially insane, we know this. But, my goddess, how much bad news can a person take. I had just found out that I definitely wasn't going to become a regular associate at Macy's, Josh's brother had just died, I couldn't figure out how I was going to take that court-ordered parenting class, and I was trying to keep Kyle from putting two and two together about the living situation.  So, yeah, the rock sent me a little closer to the edge than it probably would have normally.  And the tire that's having issue isn't even near the one I hit. It's the total opposite tire! So, I'm going to have to find a way to pay for two new tires I'm sure by the time all of this is over. Plus I need an oil change, plus I need my tires rotated.  Thank goddess I don't need an alignment. I still need all this body work done too. My poor Moody Blue is almost two and already needs a makeover!  

And down comes the rain! Ack!

But I am so totally waiting up to wish Josh a Happy New Year whether he likes it or not!

Broken Toilets: A Stream of Consciousness Event

I'm mad at Kyle, very mad at Kyle.  He's ruining everything, again. Because of him, I can't move on. Because of him, Josh is holding back. Because of him, I can't even go the 3,000 miles to meet the light of my life. Because of his selfishness, he moved back in. Because he moved back in, our old divorce became null and void. If I hadn't of been for my rash actions, we'd just now be starting the countdown to a year apart. If it weren't for his lies, I'd be free. Free to live. Free to love. Free to move on. So, yes, I'll admit it. I'm mad at Kyle. This whole mess is his. And I'm the one cleaning it up. I'm the one coming behind him, once again, with the mop and the broom and making everything OK. Or at least trying to.  I'm doing my best, and of course, my best isn't up to his standards. But does he help me get them to his standards? NO!  He'd rather be a no-good pain-in-the-ass, as usual. And he gets rewarded. Life hands him golden ticket after golden ticket. He has the house. He has a fiancé. He doesn't have to struggle. Everything is handed to him on a silver platter. EVERYTHING! And I keep telling myself how I'll get my chance one day and how one day karma will get him. And I have to believe it because if I don't I'd probably sob for hours upon hours everyday. But seriously, I'm waiting, life. I'm here. With my arms wide open. And I'm waiting for anyhing you have to offer me, good or bad. But I'd prefer good because after awhile all the bad is going to start to smell like shit. And nobody likes that smell because that's the kind of stink that don't come out. And I'd really like to forget some of this. I'd like to put it behind me and never look back. Because looking back causes accidents. And we all know that accidents are bad and can kill people. And we all know that killing people is never a good thing because people like it when they continue to live. Breathing. Living. They are two different but two very good things. And that's why people like them. Yep. And that's the truth. The solid gold forever truth.   

She Shoots, She Scores

I should probably start posting these on the day I write them. I just had to change "today" to "yesterday" like three times in the last entry. Sheesh!

So, the book is coming along better than hoped. I don't have quite as many wods written as I had hoped, but the ideas for scenes keep coming. I think I just wrote my ending scene last night, though.  I'm going to have to write a lot of hickey scenes soon, so, the research really needs to begin. I also need to figure out what city to set it in. I know I has to be up North because we don't have hockey teams down here, and it should be a city that has a ice skating rink/ hockey arena and at least three hospitals, so, it needs to be a big city. I could make something up, I guess. If you have city name ideas, let me know.  Oh! And I need to name the team and a rival team.  I'll let you know when I figure out these details. 

I went to visit the NaNoWriMo website last night and I realized that I don't have Internet on my computer yet. Oops!  I've been having a lot of those blond moments here lately. I MUST be falling in love. They happen more frequently if I'm falling. Although, I'm pretty sure I already fell, but whatever.  I just wish I knew what he's thinking. He's kinda hard to read lately. Must be the whole mourning thing. I've never really experienced it from this angle before. It's a whole new ballgame when it's a boyfriend. 

Kyle never lost anyone while we were together, not really. Angel (his dog) didn't  die until after we were separated, I think. And besides, a brother and and a dog are NOT the same. No matter how much you humanize it.  A dog is a dog. And yes, that is gonnna sound mean. And yes, I get the whole "part of the family" bit, but you just can't get that close to a dog. A dog can't tell you stories. You can't take a dog out to a movie.  You see where I'm going here. A pet is a pet, and that is all. Yes, you can love them, but they just don't love you back as a brother or sister would. -jumps off soapbox- Sorry. Got caught up. 

I just want it to be Friday. That is when the munchkins return. I just wish I could remember if I'm supposed to get then or if he's dropping them off. I should probably ask. I swear, though, if he acts like I'm an idiot for asking I'm not going to be too pleasant. I have a lot on my mind, and while I love my kids, knowing who is picking up/dropping off is not a priority. That's just the way it is.  End of story.

The Incredible Edible Egg

Got about 900 words written yesterday. I'm shooting for about 50,000. I think that's how many you're supposed to do with NaNoWriMo. I forget. 

I'm kinda bored. 

Josh was texting me when he went to see Sherlock Holmes today. It was awesome. Of course it was just before he went. And then he helped me with some grammar and spelling issues I was having while writing. Turns out he got the card today. That makes me very happy. I thought it was taking an awful long time to get there. I thought maybe it wasn't going to before 2009 ended. Lol. Sheesh!

I had a weird sex dream that had me questioning things.  But enough about that because nobody really cares. Besides, Tiana basically banned me from exploring the option or bringing it up any further. Yeah. That isn't going to make sense, but this is for me. It'll remind me to just say no.  Shut-up. 

I decided Sunday to spend the cards for the girls and then wrap the gifts and write who they were from on them. So, I got Camy a replica of Sam's remote from iCarly and some Hello Kitty dolls and I got Jayde a 24" girraffe and a coffee maker playset. Then they each got a recyclable tote bag.  Anyway, I wrapped all that yesterday.  It was interesting. I'm very badly out of practice when it comes to wrapping.

What else? Blogging everyday is hard and leaves me with nothing to say. Har. 

I didn't bring up the NYE thing to Josh. I don't know how. I also don't know how to tell him I miss his voice, so any help would be awesome. 

I think I'm done for today.  

And the Work Begins

I made a list of characters for the movie. This is just a rough list. Notice that "Ashley Amut" has Wil Wheaton next to it, but none of the other characters have an actor/actress name next to them? That is because Kevin already picked him as the lead. I'm contemplating renaming him "Wesley Crusher". Haha. But I wanted use last names of people I know as a little "shout-out" to my peeps. Need to add some so I can use some more. Or change "Kenny" to a girlfriend. I dunno. Also, yes, all the straight males have "female" names and the girls all have "male" names. It's on purpose.

Hit Somebody- Characters:

Main-

1.   Ashley Amut- Hockey player- Wil Wheaton (boy)
2.   Kendell "Kenny" Amut- Hockey player's wife- (girl)
3.   Taylor Kalau- Hockey player's bff-(boy)
4.   Finley "Finn" Bies- Hockey player's bff's girlfriend-(girl)
5.   Dayle Lister- Hockey player's wife's bff-(girl)
6.   Gustav Humke Hockey player's teammate #1-(boy-gay) 
7.   Blair Johnson- Hockey player's teammate #2-(boy) 
8.   Courtney Baker- Hockey player's arch enemy-(boy)
9.   Brennan Weber- Hockey player's arch enemy's girlfriend-(girl)
10. Lesley Ayers- Hockey player's arch enemy's bff-(boy)

Actually, I should probably listen to the song. Har. And now, I'm thinking I'm gonna write a book instead. I don't know nothing about writing a script. Lol.