I am very, very anxious, very, very scared, very, very confused, and very, very a lot of things right now. Do. Not. Like. And I think I need somebody to hold my hand and help me through this and tell me exactly what to do and how to do it and not find fault with me and just be patient. Because I feel like, while I am pulling out of the depression, Kyle is trying to push me back in. Not fun. And no offense to my multiple long-distance friends, but I need a closer friend for this task.
Fortunately enough, I ran into Pastor Schmeiding's wife today at the library (who happens to be an old volleyball coach of mine), and she's gonna talk to him,and, of course, get a whole new church praying for the situation too. So, maybe, if a thousand more voices are praying for me, the answer will be revealed. We will see.
Showing posts with label HELP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label HELP. Show all posts
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
"Satan" Should Die
Yesterday was pretty fun. I don't think it was as fun for Jessie. ROFLMAO So not going there. He would kill me! And I know he reads this, so, so not taking the chance. I mean, I love you, Jessie!
Cycle day number one for me. So much fun! Cramps are AWESOME! Cramps in the cold, though? PRICELESS! And me, without a snuggle buddy! HOW VERY PERFECT! -eyeroll-
I'm driving up there on Friday night. Don't argue. Everybody needs a stalker. LOL
My friend, Melissa, has this very awesome fiance named Shane, and he is shooting a DVD on Saturday. Guess who is going? ME! Iz gonna be a star! I made a deal that will probably come back to haunt me, but whatever. I really need to get out more.
So, anyway, I am sitting INSIDE wearing a hoodie. I am a wienie today. A very big wienie.
What else?
Nothing especially cool happened today. I didn't even apply to anywhere today. I didn't get rejected either. So, that was good. I'm just going to start applying to places and get a "normal" job now. It's come down to that. I don't know how useful my resume will be for that, though, but it can't hurt to try. Right? Right. But let me take this opportunity to say how much Mr. Bobby Jindal sucks right now. I never thought his hiring freezes would affect me. HA! And now there are approximately 2,000 more people looking for jobs now. Wait! Is that right? I think it may be more. But anyway, this means even MORE competition and pretty much all of it more experienced, period. fkldsfaskl;ajskal;sakl;fdskalf!
I wish somebody would discover me. I wish somebody would hear me singing and be like, "you! record deal! now!" Or maybe say to me, "you have a pretty face, come model for us!" Something! I need a break. Just a small one. Just something to get me on my feet enough to be able to get a house, or like be able to STAY here.
No, I really DON'T like my supposed free ride. It kills me. I am just sitting here, rotting basically, and I won't be able to keep this house. And I can't afford anything else. And I have mouths to feed. Bodies to clothe. Heads to cover. And in July, I'm going to lose the ability to do that. FOR GOOD! And I feel like such a bum. Like a loser. And all anybody can say is "sorry," but they can't do anything to help. All they can do is shake their heads and pity me. FUCKING! HELP ME! Telling me to let it go and let God, isn't helping me. God is not doing SHIT! He thinks this whole thing is fucking hilarious. Well, guess what! I don't get the joke. I'm not laughing.
Worrying about it another day is not an option. THIS IS IT! This is crunch time. This is move it or lose it time. There is no more tomorrow left. I have no time to relax. This has to get done, NOW! There is no time for self-pity or self- doubt. It is what is it, and that's all there is. And I guess it's just me myself and I now. Nobody's going to do it for me. I have to do it. I have to do it ALL! And it has to be done YESTERDAY!
And I am way past over emotional right now, so I'm going to bed.
snip, snap, snout,
this blog's told out
Cycle day number one for me. So much fun! Cramps are AWESOME! Cramps in the cold, though? PRICELESS! And me, without a snuggle buddy! HOW VERY PERFECT! -eyeroll-
I'm driving up there on Friday night. Don't argue. Everybody needs a stalker. LOL
My friend, Melissa, has this very awesome fiance named Shane, and he is shooting a DVD on Saturday. Guess who is going? ME! Iz gonna be a star! I made a deal that will probably come back to haunt me, but whatever. I really need to get out more.
So, anyway, I am sitting INSIDE wearing a hoodie. I am a wienie today. A very big wienie.
What else?
Nothing especially cool happened today. I didn't even apply to anywhere today. I didn't get rejected either. So, that was good. I'm just going to start applying to places and get a "normal" job now. It's come down to that. I don't know how useful my resume will be for that, though, but it can't hurt to try. Right? Right. But let me take this opportunity to say how much Mr. Bobby Jindal sucks right now. I never thought his hiring freezes would affect me. HA! And now there are approximately 2,000 more people looking for jobs now. Wait! Is that right? I think it may be more. But anyway, this means even MORE competition and pretty much all of it more experienced, period. fkldsfaskl;ajskal;sakl;fdskalf!
I wish somebody would discover me. I wish somebody would hear me singing and be like, "you! record deal! now!" Or maybe say to me, "you have a pretty face, come model for us!" Something! I need a break. Just a small one. Just something to get me on my feet enough to be able to get a house, or like be able to STAY here.
No, I really DON'T like my supposed free ride. It kills me. I am just sitting here, rotting basically, and I won't be able to keep this house. And I can't afford anything else. And I have mouths to feed. Bodies to clothe. Heads to cover. And in July, I'm going to lose the ability to do that. FOR GOOD! And I feel like such a bum. Like a loser. And all anybody can say is "sorry," but they can't do anything to help. All they can do is shake their heads and pity me. FUCKING! HELP ME! Telling me to let it go and let God, isn't helping me. God is not doing SHIT! He thinks this whole thing is fucking hilarious. Well, guess what! I don't get the joke. I'm not laughing.
Worrying about it another day is not an option. THIS IS IT! This is crunch time. This is move it or lose it time. There is no more tomorrow left. I have no time to relax. This has to get done, NOW! There is no time for self-pity or self- doubt. It is what is it, and that's all there is. And I guess it's just me myself and I now. Nobody's going to do it for me. I have to do it. I have to do it ALL! And it has to be done YESTERDAY!
And I am way past over emotional right now, so I'm going to bed.
snip, snap, snout,
this blog's told out
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
New Boy, New Plea
There is a new booooooooooooooooy! So, be prepared for long gushing entries in the future.
Anybody that reads this should share with me links to their local hospitals. I'm now looking for any and all pharmacy technician positions in any state. I'm not being picky any more. I just need a job now. ANY JOB WILL DO! If you are a Tech, and you work in retail, ask your managers if they need more techs. Tell them you know somebody. Give them my name. And if you need my info, just ask. I'll get it to you. I'm a hard worker and a people person. I never meet a stranger. I love to work the drive-thru window or even the register. I can count pills all day, and can rotate stock. I already know how Walgreens works, but I can pick up on a new chain in no time. I'm a very intelligent individual and a fast learner. I'm very out-going and very willing to help, even if helping means trying to calm somebody down. I am very interested in learning. I can talk about how awesome I am all day! Just ask.
Anybody that reads this should share with me links to their local hospitals. I'm now looking for any and all pharmacy technician positions in any state. I'm not being picky any more. I just need a job now. ANY JOB WILL DO! If you are a Tech, and you work in retail, ask your managers if they need more techs. Tell them you know somebody. Give them my name. And if you need my info, just ask. I'll get it to you. I'm a hard worker and a people person. I never meet a stranger. I love to work the drive-thru window or even the register. I can count pills all day, and can rotate stock. I already know how Walgreens works, but I can pick up on a new chain in no time. I'm a very intelligent individual and a fast learner. I'm very out-going and very willing to help, even if helping means trying to calm somebody down. I am very interested in learning. I can talk about how awesome I am all day! Just ask.
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