Let me tell you what today was like. Today was the epitome of chaos. There isn't anything as chaotic as being backstage at a dance recital. Children running in and out of dressing rooms. Mamas helping children in and out of costumes. Dance instructors running back and forth. And all of it is worth it. Completely and totally worth it. When the audience sees the show, everything seems to run so smoothly. And I guess it does, but you gotta move quickly. One false move can be the difference between nine children on stage and eight children on stage. One slow hand can mean the difference between twenty children with flowers in their hair and nineteen children with flowers in their hair. Let me go through a run-down of today. My day started at about ten. Not bad since the show started at 1:30. I had asked my grandma to bring the kids to me at 10:30. I thought that would give me enough time. Boy was I wrong! She brought them to me at ten. And that made a big difference because, as it turns out, I needed that half hour. I start with make-up, which is easy. All they need is a little blush and a little lip gloss. I put eye shadow on Camryn because she's older, but that's it. And then comes the hair. The hair is a nightmare! First, the hair wasn't combed the night before so that's not good because it's tangled as hell. I start with the big one because her hair is the worst. I section it off and brush throiugh it, a section at a time. Then, I lacquer it up at the roots, all around her head and the underside. Then I brush the clay into the hair to make sure her bangs get blended well with her hair. This step also ensures that the hair is smooth and that there are no "tacos", if you will. I make the ponytail, and begin the twisting, wrap the bun, and realize that the bun's too low. So, I begin again. The ponytail holder snaps in the middle of making the ponytail. I start a third time only her head is crooked, only I don't notice, so, the whole thing comes out with what I call "attitude", which means its obvious that the bun is right of center. Bah! Time to start again. At this point, my grandma decides to help me by literally holding Camryn's face. This works for the ponytail. Yessssss! I wrap the bun, snapped on the second ponytail holder, wrap it in a hairnet and call it done. Perfect! And it only took four tries and two differentlocations to get. So, I start on Jayde. Here's the thing. I have made four "recital buns" for Camryn. This is my first time doing one for Jayde. Another mother did hers last year. But I calm my nerves and go for it. Now, here's the problem: I am used to Camryn's thick hair and Jayde never let's me do her hair. But I start with hers in the same manner I do Camryn's except, as I mentioned, she never lets me do her hair. She screams until my mom brushes out my hair. So, my mom brushes out her hair. And I lacquer up her hair and she is looking at me like I'm insane but she lets me do it after I explain that I just did the same thing to Camryn, which she just witnessed. Her bun goes up, no problem. Then, it happens. My mom says that the hair is "popping out". Oh, and Jayde already has a hole in the toe and a small run in the thigh of HER BRAND NEW TIGHTS. So, my mom grabs her hairspray. Me She sprays down Camryn's head, she sprays down Jayde's head, she sprays down Jayde's thigh, and she sprays down Jayde's toe. THE DAY IS SAVED! I get the girls into their costumes, get on my dress, grab the "recital bag" and head out the door. That's when the real trouble starts. We get lost on the way to the theatre. Now, I have driven to the theatre about a million times, but never in the rain and never with my grandma driving and never with someone giving us bad directions. I'll say it. My dad actually got the directions wrong. And nobody would listen to the person who's been there before. Finally we get to a building connected to the theatre and I'm like let me and Camryn out and I'll be back for Jayde. Problem is we go the wrong way through the building and end up wandering around. I finally get Camryn in the right place and sometime between getting Camryn backstage and going back for Jadyde the torrential downpour has stopped and my grandma has decided to move the car. And to make things worse, she isn't answering her phone. Typical. I manage to finally get her on the phone and she admits to me that my dad has taken in Jayde. No pro that my dad taken Jayde in. Ugh! Why me? So, I manage to find the car and it's running, basically blocking the drive, and noone is even in it. But it's locked...am I supposed to be thrilled by this? Anyway, finally my dad gets back. And then my grandma does. I grab the bag I left in the car. And head back to backstage...again. I find Jayde and she's fine. I find Camryn, and she's fine. Now, let the real games begin. I decide to stay in Jayde's room because there are twenty nine little girls and one Buffy in the room. We start accessorizing them and there are three missing bracelets. Not good. So we make a decision. Hat leans right, so, the bracelet only goes on the left side only. Perfect. The first seven numbers go off without a hitch and then the real test of chaos begins, the chaos known as "costume change". Costume change isn't completely as horrible as it sounds but you gotta move fast. Twenty nine little bodies need to be transferred into new costumes. Luckily for me, eight of them have been changed already but there is a child who cant find a costume and her class needs to get to the stage...NOW. We find the costume and there is an instructor yelling "change her" and I'm dumbfounded. The teacher ends up changing her and is like you gotta be faster. OK. Now, I have twenty bodies who need new costumes and out of nowhere I have an extra set of hands. And guess what. Most of the kids know how to find their own costumes can change themselves without a snag. Except some have grabbed the wrong costume and now we have to figure out who has on the wrong one. Buffy is excellent at sorting out who's wearing the wrong costume. While she does that I go around tucking in shoe strings. Because ballerinas don't have strings. And we have everyone ready. Right. On. Time. We get back to the room and are faced with a third challenge. Figuring out which costume goes with which bag and which set of shoes. And most of the kids are helpful. But some are not. Because some of the costumes dont have names in them. Are you kidding? But we get it done to the best of our abilities and its time for the finale. Rush back out of the room. When the finale is over we finish sorting out costumes and hand them over to the kids. And line them up for pick up. The moms clean up the rooms and find all the stray items and get all those together. Now, its time to..."socialize". This means talking to Kyle's parents and pretending I still give a damn that they're still alive. I kinda don't. And they're being social and I'm being awkward and their grandpa wants to make pictures and stuff. No big deal but my mom's sugar is dropping. So, finally, she's like we gotta go, so, I'm like saved by the diabetes. And so we get going. We ask the kids what they want and Jayde wants Cane's, Camryn wants Chilli's. So, we stop at Cane's on the way home. We get home, I change, the girls change, my mom changes. And we head out to Chili's. We get there and the experience is a lot better than I remember. The kids get a little antsy toward the end, but that's just them. But I'm happy, they're happy, everyone is happy. But during dinner I find out that Rose has quit and that there's a pretty interesting story behind it involving the cops. I don't have all the gritty details, but it involves a blow up with Trung ending with Trung calling the cops on Rose. Anyway, we decide to go shopping and guess who I run into at the store. My. Ex. Husband. And oh. My. Gawd. Is it awkward! Ho. Ly. Shit. So, we finish shopping and all the chaos dies down and that's it. And fyi, i am tapped out for the year.

Anyone who knows me, knows I love my hair. I always have. Nobody, but nobody touches my hair but me. You have to be very freaking special if I let you touch it. Fact. So, when I go to get a haircut, a lot of time and thought goes into where I go. When I had long hair, it was an easy decision, nobody. Last July, when I decided to go short again, I agonized over where go for weeks. Finally, I talked to a co-worker who had once been a hairstylist where to go. She suggested Sports Clips. She had gone to Aveda with one of the stylists there. So, I sucked it up and took my long locks to them. I walked in and they looked at me like I was nuts. I asked them if they cut women's hair and the girl at the desk said they did. I asked for the girl my co-worker knew by name and they said she'd be back at a certain time. I came back at that time and the rest is history. She. Was. Amazing. A few months later I went back. And lo and behold the same girl gave me the same cut. Wuthout even washing my hair either time. And definitely without styling tools. It took maybe half an hour the first time and ten minutes the second time. Today, I went back and was treated like shit. The girl at the desk got an attitude when she told me they didn't cut women's hair. I told her that I had gotten a haircut there before, twice. She said that it depended on who was here today. Then, this short little homegirl wanna be came out and asked me what I wanted. I tell her that I just want a few inches off. She immediately says she can't do a bob. Excuse me? I wanted to smack her. My hair is short, but it's not a bob, not in the traditional sense of the word. Obviously, she doesn't know what she's talking about. Then, she goes on to say that my haircut is "too complex" and that she "doesn't feel comfortable" doing it without comfortable" doing it without styling tools. My analysis? She probably barely passed state boards and should probably have her license taken. Then, the first chick suggests I go to SuperCuts. Are. You. Kidding. Me? I wouldn't go to SuperCuts even if you paid me to. Why? Because they are infamous for not knowing what they're doing. I'm just not chancing that shit. This is my HAIR we're talking about. So, I don't know what to do. I really want a haircut today. I decide to try Wal-Mart. Don't judge me. Their in-store salon has given me quite a few good haircuts. I've been lucky. Turns out that the Wal-Mart salon is closed today. So, I head to Aveda, which is a cosmetology school. You can go get a half-price haircut and it's OK because the instructors are right there the whole time. The downside? It takes about two and a half hours to get a haircut. I don't know if I wanna go back. A haircut shouldn't take longer than a Catholic wedding ceremony. I missed my date this afternoon because of this haircut. Had I known that a haircut at Aveda would take that long, I would have skipped it and gotten it tomorrow. Bah, I say. Bah!

Polly Wolly Doodle

The other day the boyfriend and I had an overdue conversation about taking our relationship to the next level. No, we're not enaged! We've decided  to make the leap from monogamous couple to a much happier nonmonogamous/polyamorous couple. 

I've known for years that monogamy wasn't for me.  I first read The Ethical Slut around the end of 2007 and it just made sense to me.  I tried to incorporate it into my marriage, but the whole thing turned into him saying that I just wanted a license to cheat.  But at that time, I was actually looking for a girlfriend. So, we tried a threesome. That was basically the beginning of the end.

Anyway, moving along. I gave up on polyamory until recently when I got a much needed push from a friend who was watching me struggle with being faithful.  So, I cautiously brought it up to Charlie.

He was very adamant, at first.  He didn't want to do it, not further questions.  About a day later he texts me.  He's had a change of heart.  After discussing it a little further, we reached a decision to a least give it a try. 

And I know what you're thinking.  That I'm just going to go around hooking up with anyone and everyone.  That's not true.  I've already found a secondary. A secondary who fills in the "blanks", if you will.  Not that I'm not completely satisfied with Charlie.  I am. And I seriously could possibly see myself marrying him. It's just...Chris offers me some things that Charlie doesn't.

Chris is a generous lover.  He's not a typical guy.  He's sweet and sensitive and he's absolutely not afraid to show it.  Charlie, on the other hand, he can be a bit selfish in bed. And he can be a bit insensitive sometimes.  And well, change is good.  In any event, I'm a much happier Susan, now. 

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Mediocrity Is Its Own Reward?

I work at a drug store, a drug store in which if it makes sense, it does not happen. soon, I'm not sure just how soon, though, we will become what is known as a wellness store. no big deal, right? wrong. huge ginormous deal. because with the conversion, comes a new position, wellness ambassador. sounds like something that's right up my alley, right? right. this person basically walks around the store with an iPad and answers questions people have about vitamins. definitely something i want to do since I did go to pharmacy tech school. I am the only cashier that did. this should not even be a debate as to who gets the job. but there's a huge problem.
her name is rose. shes only been at the store since December and she isn't so great at her job. she hovers by the register. if a customer asks a question about where something is, she always, without fail, takes them to it rather than just telling them. this is a huge no-no. when you're working as a cashier, you are not to leave the front area, which is cosmetics and seasonal.
a lot of the time the item is not in that front area. a lot of the time the item is a gnc item. the gnc area is right in front of the pharmacy. in the very back of the store. and when she's checking people out she has a personal conversation with every. damn. customer. no matter how long the line is. and several times a shift the second cashier aka the floor person has to bale her out. and its frustrating because a lot of the times I'm working on resetting the merchandise. and im pretty good at it, in my opinion. but well get to that.
on stock days, everyone has to show up and stock the freight. sounds simple, right? right. she's been working six months. that's about twenty four stock days. do you know how many stock days she's actually touched stock? four. maybe.
our sales run from Sunday to Saturday. This means that our sales tags need to go out on Saturday night. Well, since the beginning of the year our stock days have been on Saturday. Kinda hard to put the tags out if the stock isn't out. Well, every Saturday, I work the morning shift, putting up the cosmetics stock and working the register. Rose and another cashier come in at two and four, respectively. By two, a lot of the time, I am pretty close to done with cosmetics, which is some miracle due to Saturday being our busiest day. By three, I have left cosmetics with about three or four totes. Sometimes, with none. I go to the aisles and help the boys. Rose is to either start pulling the tags or finishing up with cosmetics. By four, when the other cashier, let's call her Y, gets there she should pretty much only be on the floor, not running the register. And by the end of the night, they should have at least SOME of the tags hung.
EVERY. FREAKING. SUNDAY. MORNING. I come in and NONE of the tags are hung. None of them. Just what are they doing? Not only that, but none of the stock is put up. AND a lot of the time, there is actually MORE stock left than there was when I leave at five. How is the whole back end of the store getting done and not the front? It makes me look lazy, and if you didn't know what's going on, you would have probably fired me by now. Anyway, you know who gets to deal with the tags not being done? Me. Every Sunday, I am handed every yellow tag for the ENTIRE store. And I hang every yellow tag in the store. What does Rose do? She hangs out by the register and does what she does best, talk.
AND SHE IS GOING TO GET REWARDED FOR THIS! My manager is planning on making HER the wellness ambassador!
It. is. not. fair. I have been working my ass off for the last year. I do everything that is asked of me in a timely manner. I have a lot of skills that most cashiers don't. I know where everything in the store is without even thinking about it. I know a lot about what products we do and don't carry. I can even tell you what a lot of our products do and the differences between the different brands. Most of the store's other crew has started referring to me as the cosmetics specialist because I'm just THAT good. I've even become pretty darn good at taking passport photos. I'm a fast cashier. The customers like me. I'm always smiling. I know my shit. Why NOT give me the job? I am being punished for being good. No, I am being punished for being great. IT. IS. NOT. FAIR!

Revival of the Fittest

i am reviving this blog. why? because i can.

HA!

I can block people from this thing! That makes me thrilled to pieces! YAY!

PowerPacked To Help Kids Grow

I keep forgetting to update this. I don't know why. I have stuff going on. I hear and see stuff and think, "I need to blog that.". I'm always thinking about it. Ugh!

I'll tell you one thing, though, I've been all abouts the Twitter lately. Almost obsessively checking it all day, everyday. I'm weird. I really just want to see Kevin Smith (@thatkevinsmith)'s and Wil Wheaton(@wilw)'s updates. Because I'm not obsessed or anything...

I'm actually in the hospital at the moment. My aunt has aspiration pneumonia, and I'm staying with her for a while. I stayed overnight last night, and it actually wasn't all that bad. I couldn't figure out how to unfold the chair all the way, but her nurse showed me and I felt stupid for not knowing. It was SO simple. Ack!

We're watching Let's Make a Deal. Not my choice. But my aunt's the patient, so it's her choice. I am SO bored. Can you tell? Lol.

Thinking about doing a blog-a-thon in April. Will get back to you. Will be recruiting some other bloggers to join me!

How To Make Me Happy: 100 Ways

I've been meaning to post this for a couple of weeks, but I keep getting distracted. Oops! Anyway, here it goes:

1. Triple chocolate cookies
2. Baking
3. Random facts
4. Random texts
5. Pink lemonade
6. Writing 
7. My birthstone
8. Rings
9. Making plans
10. Making lists
11. A good joke
12. Getting to be myself 
13. Singing
14. Dancing
15. Inside jokes
16. Feminism
17.  Equality
18. Making choices
19. Kevin Smith (actor, writer, director, producer, tweeter)
20. Having my bottom lip sucked on while making out
21. Making out
22. Goatees
23. Driving in my car
24. Riding a motorcycle
25. Having my hair combed
26. The color pink
27. Correct grammar and spelling
28. Boys kissing boys 
29. Walking
30. The sound a stack of quarters makes on the counter
31. Reminising with friends
32.  Flip flops 
33. Hearing my children laugh
34. Waking up with, not one, but two little girls snuggled up to me
35.  Jam hands 
36. The silent moments with my kids
37.  Jayde language
38. When the light goes on over Camy's head
39. Watching karma do it's magic 
40. The white truck with the flames along the bottom
41.  Marilyn Manson's version of "Tainted Love"
42. "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit
43. Nirvana
44. Jason Castro singing "If I Fell In Love
45. Bright Eyes
46. Texting with a certain man about nothing in partiular 
47. Talking on the phone with the same certain man
48. Full moons
49. Garden State
50. Zach Braff
51. My evening walk
52. My iPod shuffle
53. Abstract thinking
54. Thinking outside the box
55. Bucking the system
56. Drawing
57. Old school video games
58. Old people who are still in love
59. Sex
60. Homemade Vanilla ice cream
61. Holding hands
62. Cuddling/snuggling
63. Bear hugs
64. Bare feet
65. Laughing until my sides hurt
66. Clerks 2 quote-a-thons with Tiana
67. Reading
68. Spending time outside
69. Coca-cola
70. My iPhone 
71. Making up baby names
72. Listening to music
73. My car 
74. Cube
75. Listening to my kids playing
76. Faery wings
77. Sleeping in
78. Vanilla chai lattes
79. Unexpected surprises
80. Movie night
81. Playing pool terribly and not caring
82. SModcasts
83. 2AM Sunday morning
84. Hiking
85. Camping
86. Trucks you have to climb into
87.  Loud trucks you can hear a mile away 
88. The Thursday night crew at DC-SPA
89. Watching the street performers in Jackson Square in NOLA
90. The World Showcase at Epcot 
91. Sushi
92. Asian culture
93. The sound of rain on a tin roof
94. Foreign accents
95. Helping people
96. Making a difference in someone's life
97. Smiling until my cheeks hurt
98. Camera phone photography
99. Lemonheads 
100. The first bite            
 
And there are probably about 100 more. These are just the first 100 I thought of and are not in order of preference.

I'm siiiiick! I have a pretty bad tummy ache in which I got from either Camryn or Jayde. I'm not quite clear which. It comes with a special surprise, too. But I'm not too worried about that. I'm too busy trying not to scream from the pain. I have too many nosy neighbors who would probably report me to the loony bin. Lol.

I've already had several mention that I don't wear shoes and that this concerns them. I don't know why. I'm from Mississippi, and I'm not all that used to shoes. I know it sounds stereotypical, but I seriously never wore shoes growing up. I once got stung in the bottom of my foot because I was going to play in my back yard and STEPPED on a bee. When I dislocated my elbow, I was outside, and had to put shoes on to go to the ER. My grandma has rocks in her driveway, millions and millions of rocks. But did this stop me from walking in it completely barefoot? Of course not! These people are pretty obsessed with it, though. And I just laugh it off. I don't have the heart to tell them that my feet are used to worse. Lol. Oy!!

I love how he knows when I need him, even from 3,000 miles away. I love how sweet he is. I love how patient he is. I love how honest he is. I love how he doesn't mind my crazy, how he actually welcomes it. I love how he thanks me for giving him what he wants. I love how he can just "listen". I love how he just gets me. I love his weirdness, his inappropriateness, his appreciation for me. He likes me for me. And that's the best feeling. It's a weird feeling, and I don't think I'll get used to it. But I like it. And I want to keep it. Forever.